rtune, with the richest blessing of the TuhanKurnia and full by happiness The Kingdom of Fericirea is surrounding by the seas, having the fruitful berry, wealthy of fishes and many kind of food to support the people. s e Prince PaniSuria was unhappy, he was always singing a song along with him"Lonely i am so lonely, I have nobody,To call my owwnnn
Lonely I m so lonely, i m mr. Lonely, I have nobody, To call my owwnnn, I m so lonely"
Although having everything in the castle, an enchanted rose garden, a tremendous comeliness playroom with thousand upon thousands' of toys, Prince PaniSuria cannot feel the happiness. The happy countenance would never appear but only the sadness. People in Fericirea Kingdom were not aware that their lovely prince is always alone.
Prince Panisuria always mumbled: I am living in this big castle, but my papa and mama are too busy. I have no buddy to talk with and no people to play together! This, the bobololo Car, this, the sweetest Yammy Yammy cookies, and this sukisuka play ground are too empty with only me! Arhhh... I am so boring!!
The Prince Panisuria entourages, the loyalty Manis, Masam, Pahit, and Pedas told the Prince PaniSuria that there lived a legendary wiser in the Fericirea Kingdom, inside the deep woods at secrect forest called ParniHarmoni. Soon, the men of prince, Manis, Masam Pahit and Pedas travelled to the deep woods of ParniHarmoni secret forest to search for the legendary wiser, the PutihPutih and to invite him come to Fericirea kingdom to meet Prince PaniSuria.
The prince Panisuria told wiser about his loneliness and sadness. The wiser understood and said to him: "No worry, my little prince, i'll help you". Then, PutihPutih spell out his incantation: "GuluGuluWalaWalaBaliBaliBumb"!
Immediately, PutihPutih and Prince Panisuria appeared in front of the Macalister Park. Then PutihPutih said to the Prince Panisuria: "Here my little prince, before you can make your friend, i shall give you these 7 magic words: Be confident to talk, Be polite, Be truthful, Be Selflessness, Be Respectful, Be Kindness, and always listen". After advising the prince, PutihPutih smiled and went disappeared, leaving Prince Panisuria alone.
However, Prince Panisuria felt no sadness. He knew he had walk his first step to make friends. When the prince Panisuria spelt the magic words, miracle happend, the children at the Macalister Park all came to him, talked to him, and they played together.
He was lonely no more. He remembered the 7 magic words: Be confident to talk, Be polite, Be truthful, Be Selflessness, Be Respectful, Be Kindness, and always listen.
Since then, the happy face appeared and Prince PaniSuria was lonely no more. At his 10th Birthday, he received a lot of greetings from around the world. Can you remembered his magic words?Immediately, PutihPutih and Prince Panisuria appeared in front of the Macalister Park. Then PutihPutih said to the Prince Panisuria: "Here my little prince, before you can make your friend, i shall give you these 7 magic words: Be confident to talk, Be polite, Be truthful, Be Selflessness, Be Respectful, Be Kindness, and always listen". After advising the prince, PutihPutih smiled and went disappeared, leaving Prince Panisuria alone.
However, Prince Panisuria felt no sadness. He knew he had walk his first step to make friends. When the prince Panisuria spelt the magic words, miracle happend, the children at the Macalister Park all came to him, talked to him, and they played together.
He was lonely no more. He remembered the 7 magic words: Be confident to talk, Be polite, Be truthful, Be Selflessness, Be Respectful, Be Kindness, and always listen.
(The end)
this is just a story i try to do, if any of you please do me a favour, help me to run through the story and do some edit. your comment is highly encourage. . i had also post it in my google docs to share with ALS members, if you think any amendment, just feel free to do it :)
many thanks
Despite of the minor grammatical mistakes, it's interesting overall. Next time we might have more chances to create such stories... : )
ReplyDeleteThank you for your commendation, i shall take this as positive reinforcement to my learning in become a great story teller!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the posting your work on the skeleton story. I have to praise your courage for always willing share. May I offer some suggestions and feedback for your reflections:
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you have overused too many names in this short story, especially if they are not the main characters of the story, or if the names you choose to use is to reinforce a hidden/oblique message within the story.
Love the song...bring another media to the story telling
May I ask the rationale for the rose garden to be “enchanted”?
MaCalister Park?? any reason why??
You use “Selflessness” can the young children listening to the story understand what it means? Better to stick to a singular or the most 3 messages rather than too many and to repeat the message again and again within the story.
I thought maybe the story contains solution which is “magical” without personal effort ...well except recalling the “words” maybe useful for teaching English. I wonder for sowing seed messages for psychological/behavioural change in the listener if such solutions would be helpful?